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If I can't say anything nice...

**Disclaimer** Do not read this post if you'd like to function under the assumption that I'm a Brazilian bon-bon-eating blogstress (but stay, please, if you are easily amused...)
Vintage leather chairs, by Isaac Mizrahi

A few reasons why this week needs to go ahead and wrap itself up:

1) Avery's been sick with what her pediatrician called a "summer cold." No real symptoms, other than a high fever, general malaise, crankiness and disrupted sleep. Poor kiddo - I think she wants to feel better, but in the meantime, doesn't mind taking it out on Mommy and Daddy.
Awesome kitchen and banquet in the background - source unknown.
2) A Country selected to host the 2016 Olympics needs to get it's you-know-what together in terms of basic infrastructure, like say, um....ELECTRICITY. Last night, the power went off and on, off an on, in ten to sixty minute increments for four hours for no apparent reason.
Victoria Pearson's kitchen via my favorite HB spread
3) My ass has challenged my baby bump to a "Who can grow the biggest" contest - and is winning.
In Brazil, there are three "classifications" to the size of a rear end: Bundinha = Tiny Hiney (a la Avery's cutie), Bunda = Classic, normal rear end, and then there's the Bundão = Bootylicious (demonstrated here by Ben's oh-so-classy bottle opener)
When I whine to Ben about second-pregnancy rump woes, he says "You'll bounce back like you did last time." But, I know him - I can hear the "if-I-make-it-a-factual-statement-it-will-be"ish in his voice.
With all due respect, please spare me the smug comments about sitting on my developing Bundão to write blogs, read blogs, and generally wear a mold into the seat. I have a BS in Nutrition, with a Minor in Sarcasm - I'm quite familiar with the equation of more input + less output = wearing lots of black. What can I say, I'm committed to you MLHP groupies. Apparently, Fat and Fabulous, too.
...and her bathroom, too.
4) Can I have a design mulligan? I took the cool Paris map print for Avery's room to the framers. I originally hoped for a gilt-look frame, but they are ridiculously expensive down here, so, I chose a white frame with a nice relief, and asked if they could paint it. For whatever reason, I thought the blue paint I used on Avery's bed would work - you know, coordinating colors, etc, etc. but now, it's WAY too matchy-matchy (something I detest).
When I asked Ben what he thought...he said, "Well, I wouldn't have done it like that." Thanks, hon - feel soooo much better. So, what do you think? It's professionally framed, so I'm not easily poppin' that baby out to spray the frame. Should I just try to seal the glass as best as possible, and paint it another color - any color besides the ubiquitous ink blue? Would I be insane to try to paint it gold?
Oh, and her patio.
...But (thankfully), there's a silver lining...
Yesterday, I hosted a playdate for the kiddos to paint dough Christmas ornaments. It was crazy and chaotic, but lots of fun watching all their creativity come alive.
We're off to visit good friends in Rio this weekend, and I can't wait for the change of scenery. I promise to return rant-free (hey, at least I threw in some eye candy for ya! ;)


Melanie said...

I am right there with you. Go ahead and rant. It will make you feel better. (hopefully) It is okay to not be up all the time. I had a really bad day yesterday and had to rant to my hubby about it and he was in Atlanta at work. I worned him before I started though:) You should repaint the frame. Just cover the glass really well. Hope you feel better.

spark! (Ada-Marie) said...

Oh Alison, you crack me up! I hope Avery is starts feeling better soon. And after seeing your gorgeous pictures celebrating the Marines, I am pretty sure that you have not sprouted a bundao overnight -- you look fab! And, I think that frame would look great in gold.... Have a ball in Rio, you deserve it!

The Southern Lady said...

If you need to vent, this is definitely one of the best ways to do it. It sounds like you need a really big hug right now, but since you have a fantastic change of scenery headed your way in the form of Rio, that might work, too.

Here's hoping to a wonderful weekend, Alison, and a better next week.

Elizabeth said...

I can't help you with the butt woes....mine has its own zip code. But for the frame, could you tape off the glass and rub on gold paint for an aged look?

Lindsey said...

I love the rant!! I can go along with everything minus the fact that your back side is getting large. I don't think you could get large if you ate donuts all day. Hope Avery Bug gets to feeling better soon. Enjoy your vacay to Rio...I look forward to a post. Oh, and I vote paint the frame gold!

Linda at Lime in the Coconut! said...

Ha...loved this post. And it was a double treat with the eye candy!

For the frame...go to your local craft store ( don't have local craft stores you? they must have an art store) and get real honest to god gold's kinda fun.

Have fun in Rio...don't forget to throw your toilet paper in the trash rather than flush (I mean...can they work on THAT before the Olympics...I say it trumps electricity any day!)

Morning T said...

Very fun post Alison and I feel for you with the new 'bumps' but since I've only gone through it once I can't give you any words of advice. Unfortunately what comes to mind for me is exactly what your hubby said. You're too cute AND funny AND have great taste. :-)

Glad you threw the playdate pic in there as just this morning I decided to host a holiday craft party for the girls in my daughter's class.

Have fun in Rio!

Federica said...

Really a nice post Alison! You show us always beautiful pictures!
Hugs from Italy!

Katie said...

Love those images! Especially all the white dishware all stacked up in the kitchen! I'm sure you look great!

JMW said...

I can totally relate, being the mother of two. I lost all of the weight, and then some, from my second pregnancy (my son is 2). But, after a long winter this year and plenty of comfort food, I need to work on getting my Bundao back to a Bunda. :)

Re:Fresh Design Studio said...

Yes, paint it gold! Keep it in the frame, and try using a small foam craft brush and craft paint to make less mess!

PS. I'm sure you still look beautiful! :)

my favorite and my best said...

bummer about your ass. i am sure it's still lovely though even if it's a little bigger.
and we all love you so we can handle the ranting.
i say cover the glass up thebest you can and spray it up all gold like. i just got some gold spray paint and i LOVE it! painted some candlesticks and no one is the wiser.
but i am sure some purists will think i am crazy. but they probably have the money to custom frame. i do not.
but yeah, not into the matchy matchy either.
and i LOVE those IM chairs!!
kisses to avery, she will bounce back soon.

bluehydrangea said...

If ranting doesn't help try having a good cry. that always seems to make me feel better. Also, I made some scary design decisions while it's not you, it's the bump!

LindsB said...

Keep it coming, its ok to say whatever you want on here- this is your blog afterall. 1. I would tape the glass and get to painting on that frame if it bothers you, you will just focus on it till its painted :) 2. LOVE the ornaments you had the kids made, so cute. and 3. the kid with paint all over him is awesome, I was like that as a kid too :)

Mallie said...

There is nothing like a good rant. :)
I think you should try rubbing some gold over the frame relief- it should highlight the texture and maybe contrast with the blue. And then, if you don't like the result, you can just paint it completely gold. :)

My Notting Hill said...

A little ranting here and there is good. Love your idea to paint it gold, from the previous post. Have fun in Rio!

Funny coincidence - the word verification I had was "predgers" - which made me thing of pregnant

Averill said...

I gotta say some of my favorite posts of yours are your "rants".

Enjoy Rio and I hope the weekend turns out better than your week!

Kristin said...

Ughhhhhhh, I feel your pain! My little dude just got over a cold and boy was he cranky!

laurie @ bargain hunting said...

I know it's terrible, but I am laughing. I know it wasn't funny, but you made it sound hysterical! I hope things have improved. laurie

Aesthetic Oiseau said...

Sounds like we had a similar type of week! But now it's over :) Hope you enjoy your trip...

paula said...

my rear end did the same thing with my second. thankfully it did go back down, but I am feeling another growth spurt coming on, ugh. Oh, and my son has that jersey in the last photo:)

Lauren said...

Alison- I am so so behind on my blog reading & missed your big news!!! CONGRATULATIONS and so sorry this is late!!!! So excited for you!! When's your due date?!!

I SO feel where you're at on the race btwn the tummy and the rear-- arggggggg

hahaha great way of putting it!! hahaha

Hill Country House Girl said...

Love your ranting - it just makes us all feel more normal - and am dying laughing at all the Brazilian words for booty - too funny! Your kitchen photos are beautiful, especially since I have painting cabinets on the brain - and your kids' dough ornaments bring back such sweet memories. By the way, do you realize how glamorous it sounds to say "we are off to meet friends in Rio"?

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